6 Steps to Improving Your
Money-Life & Your Relationship
There is a conversation in the story of Alice in Wonderland where she meets the Cheshire cat in a tree at the fork in road.
Alice inquires to the cat, “Excuse me, which way should I go?”
“Where are you going?” He questions.
“I don’t know.” Alice replies.
“Well, then if you don’t know where you’re going it doesn’t matter where you go.” Replies the cat.
How many of us are like Alice in this story? Do you find yourself experiencing financial conflict with your partner? Studies have shown that couples who lack specific goals and priorities experience increased financial tension in their relationships.
Like Alice, there are no right or wrong choices unless you have a goal to measure your decisions and behavior against. You can make wise money choices if you know what your goals are.
The following six goal-writing steps will dramatically improve your relationship and your financial life. These steps are just as powerful for individuals as well.
1. Make a Date
Don’t wait until you feel like doing this exercise. Schedule a date right now with your partner to create and discuss your goals. Go someplace that is relaxing and inspiring to you. Get out of your regular environment, go to a coffee shop, a casual restaurant or a local park. Once you discuss and write your goals you will discover how powerful this exercise can be.
2. Discover Your Values
Values consist of the things that matter most to you in life --the things you feel passionate about. They aren't “material acquisitions.” Think of them as the internal forces that drive and inspire. Values determine how much effort you are willing to exert to achieve your financial goals. Examples of values might include: health, security, family, balance, marriage, adventure, peace of mind and creativity.
Take a piece of paper and write down your top five values. These are your values alone, your partner may not share the same values as you.If you get stuck, have your partner ask some questions to help you understand your values.
After both of you have written your values down, share them with each other. Now, determine which ones you share as a couple – you might pick values from the ones you and your partner listed individually, or you might choose differently. It’s entirely up to you.
3. Brainstorm About Goals
For each value listed, create specific goals (based on that value) that you would like to achieve over a period of one year, three years, five years, ten years and “late-life goals” (whatever age that is for you). Give yourself permission to have fun with this exercise. This is meant to be a fun process of uncovering the things that really resonate for you.
Approach this exercise in a way that works best for the two of you. You may each want to write down your individual goals before sharing them with each other. Or you may prefer to take turns discussing them with each other first – recording your goals following your discussion.
There is no right or wrong way to complete this process. Once you have determined your individual goals, take the list of values you created as a couple and go through the same process.
Don’t get caught up in strategizing at this point. This is a time to focus on brainstorming about your goals. For example, you may have a goal to pay off your credit card debt.
Don’t get distracted or caught up in trying to figure out HOW you will pay off the credit card debt. In other words, don’t focus on strategy. Focus only on identifying the goals you wish to accomplish. You might find that you have a tendency to agree on goals and disagree on strategies and priorities.
Step 4: Share, Compromise & Prioritize
After you have written your goals take turns discussing them with your partner. Where do you need to compromise on individual goals? Do you need to shift your time frames to achieve some of them? Identify what is important and determine which individual and partner goals you want to prioritize and work toward. These can be short term or long term goals. Do this by giving your goals a priority ranking of one, two, three, etc.. No goal should have the same priority ranking.
Step 5: Post Your Goals
Once you have discussed and ranked your immediate one-year goals, organize them by years one, two, five, ten and late life. Post them in a place where you will see them daily.
Step 6: Measure Behavior and Money Choices
Unlike Alice in Wonderland, you now have a point of reference for making smart money choices and decisions. Whenever you need to consider a big money purchase, consult your goals first. Ask yourself “Is this money choice or behavior bringing me closer towards my/our goals or further away?
Do you have a personal goal-writing success story to share?
Please email me any of your personal success stories pertaining to goals. I will select a few stories to include in later editions of my newsletter. Even if you didn’t use a goal writing technique – perhaps you took bold steps based on faith, prayer and conviction. Or perhaps you used visualizations. Whatever the process, please share it with me so that others can benefit from your personal success. You will find my email address listed at the bottom of this newsletter.
About the Author
Leslie Cunningham is a Certified Professional Life Coach
with over 17 years of experience in the human services field.
She works with entrepreneurs who are ready
to turn their lifestyle and financial stress into inspired
action to create more time, money and ease. To learn more
about her coaching services and for more tips like these visit her site at www.springwindcoaching.com
© 2006 Leslie D. Cunningham
Spring Wind Coaching | 7781 Nez Perce Dr. | Bozeman, MT 59715 | Phone 406-586-5561
www.springwindcoaching.com |
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